10.13.2009

Gosselin Fan? You Need a Life...

I was originally going to do an article on the National Equality March. What's that you say? Well it's a mile stone in the gay right's movement. It's really not as important as people say it is. Granted, not discriminating against homosexuals is just as important as not discriminating against other religions even if it means violating the First Amendment. Still, it's a little overdone. I'd say give all 50 states a Proposition 8-style choice. The states that want gay marriage will have it.

You live in a state that doesn't allow it? Easy, just go to a neighboring state and get one. When you move back... you'll still be married! It's in the Constitution (Article IV, Section 1).

Anyway, what I'm actually doing an article about is John and Kate Gosselin: two people who need to shut the fuck up. Honestly, I don't understand the fandom that seemed to have materialized around these two completely normal people who managed to first have twins and then sextuplets. WOW. AMAZING. TELEVISION SHOW.

Honestly, I've never seen an episode of John & Kate Plus 8 so it probably detracts from my journalistic integrity... I guess I should take the time to do that now.

One
My Face Just before starting John & Kate Plus 8

OK, I'm still watching the show now. And I can honestly say that there are far more interesting things to do with my life. In addition to watching this incredibly boring show with a woman who has failed to realize that there are people in the world whose bodies refuse to have as many kids as she did and simply don't know how to handle kids as well as she can.

Two
My face after watching the first video.

Kate takes her parenting like a woman who applied for the job of being a mother. John takes to fatherhood like a man who simply does not want to be there. For every word that John says, Kate says about 800,000 more. Her kids are like poor, little, money-making machines for the Gosselins. Kate seems to LOVE doting over her children... but I'm terribly sorry. There's no reason she gets to take millions of dollars from a bullshit TV show when my sister and her husband are an infinitely more interesting couple and my nephew is probably the cutest little boy to ever exist.

I have to say though, in this video (about 4:48 in), Kate is once again going on and on about her extraordinarily ordinary life with a bizzare number of kids when she talks about how "I told John which parts need to be brushed better."

She looks at her husband as if he actually gave a fuck. He promptly wakes himself up and then says, "Uh... the back... and..."

Kate then takes over and lists every part of her mouths. In other words, Kate is a controlling bitch and John was pretty much doing nothing beyond sticking the brush in his kids' mouth and just wondering where these mythical things called "teeth" were. I'm serious, this show could not have been John's idea. He takes no interest in the show and Kate is the least interesting human being I've ever seen on camera.

Photobucket
My face just before I decided to start watching Sunshine instead of John & Kate Plus 8

Being a person who's life has been destroyed by divorce, the Gosselin children will probably see it as the saving grace of their childhood experience.

1 comment:

Brita said...

i'm glad i inspired you to think about writing about the equality march john! :) and yes sunshine would be a much better option than jon and kate plus 8... i skip over all the news about them when i read perez!

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